i wrote this song after i killed a drifter to get an erection

im tired. sick. and it feels like a houston winter in the basket.

in two months of my new residence, ive had a cold and the flu. the latter being everso present at this moment. truman is sick a lot. shannon as well.

ive noticed, in my newly formed 'friendships' here, that most are hell-bent on selling this place to me. not that i needed to be sold, but things are far from similar to my custom or culture or whatever, and, i make no hesitation in expressing my confusion. maybe they get offended? maybe. but they dont know where i come from and im in their home. so i suppose this transition to the remainder of my days is, well, more difficult than id like to admit. i miss houston, in an odd but romantic, and even sadistic, way. this is normal. and ill be alright. truman has a better shot at being a better man than i am here. i have a better shot at trying to recover from whatever it is that is killing me. my marriage has a better chance at surviving. i love wife and son and will do whatever it takes...

this tastes like rainbows.

i went to the moose after work for the first time this week. the moose is a lodge where you can eat and drink at seven in the morning. if youre not a member, you have to be accompanied by one. it was fine until i vomitted, voilently, when i got home. i felt like food poisoning. didnt get any sleep and i still went to work that night. so, obviously, something has changed. who am i to work at a time when im not 100%? but ive often argued to myself that i am have never been 100%. and this has to happen. so i build engines in a fever waiting for the insurance to start. and im very proud of myself. for the first time in a long time. the basket has changed me.

i miss rob and tuesdays at tks though im told you cant smoke cigarettes inside there anymore. i may even miss mike a little but i dont think about it anymore or try not to. sure ive made a mistake where he and i stand, i just dont know whats worth it anymore. eh.

i should go.

the bread basket at 420a, pun

so. where am i....

ive been here, this basket that im told isnt really the bread basket but simply the midwest, for almost two months. so much as happened and weve got a lot to get to so let us begin, review, analyze (for your pleasure, and it might take a small amount of hubris on your part as im a tad drunk as it is my day off and ive pabst was on sale, i will not edit this):

the trip from houston to here.
i think it was august 4th when we loaded the truck and headed to what was the first stop on our, my wife, son, and self, trek to our new home. that stop was long beach, mississippi. if you remember hurricane katrina (and why wouldnt you?), this is the OTHER part of total devastation that storm left behind (it didnt just hit new orleans!!!). my sister and her family lives there. to inform, we decided to TRY and make the trip a sort of vacation and i will expund on this later. so the fourth day of the hottest month of the year, some people came, got our stuff, truman got mad, we loaded up and said goodbye to my home. our home. we arrived at my sisters around 10p, talked and crashed....exhausted. i did get some nice gifts for my birthday from her, a nice retro johnny cash tee and and the ever-lovely new wilco disc that came with a live dvd.

the next day we said goodbye and headed to meridian, mississippi to visit my grandpa and aunt (the first time since grandma passed). not twenty miles from their house, the truck decided it was too hot and blew a pretty hole in the radiator. sensing our VACATION was over, we began to make alternate plans. those plans included us renting a car, driving shannon and the truman the rest of the way, driving back to meridian to get the truck, and driving back to our final destination. all in all it took about a week, way too much money, and about 2000 plus miles.

new beginnings (?):
once the foiled VACATION was over and the truck fixed, i sat. some days with truman (he hadnt started school and shannon was already working), some days reading (ive read five books since ive been here), some days looking for musical bands to play to play musical instruments with, some days depressed, everyday finding work. i have found a band and a job and maybe the two dont mix anymore. and every one here looks at me funny. im in another country if you ask me.

this place,
there are, i would estimate, 20,000 people in this city. and small city so its more like a town to me if i gauge it to houston. there really isnt much to do. one liquor store bought every other liquor store to become the only liquor store in town. you cannot buy booze on sunday. you cannot buy cold six packs in any store other than the liuquor store. you can buy whatever liquor you want at a drug store, though. people drive terribly. i know, where i come from, you drive as if youre going to get run over. here they either drive too slow or too fast. ive been flipped off once, but i think i deserve that. there are no whataburgers or jack in the boxes. there is no lone star or pearl. the restaurants im afraid of and the two music instruments shops in town dont really cater to drummers. theres one pawn shop, and shit load of meth-induced smiles and eyes. more on this place should accompany the paragraph entitled 'this job'.

this music,
there is none. wait, thats wrong. theres music. and the guys ive found to play with are stellar. but no one listens to what i listen to. and no one has even heard of what i mentioned (though it should be noted that i NEVER volunteer information unless asked and even then i keep to the bare minimum with enough bullshit to make them wonder, and boy do they wonder). could it be ive been spoiled? i never looked at houston that way, spoiling me. i always thought it sucked when someone didnt play there. but, no one plays here. NO ONE. not anyone i would want to see. not that i would go. anyway. im in a band, kind of. it is called EARL, kind of. its rootsy rock (i guess), kind of. not that id find the requisite mogwai/wilco lover that i search for....

this job,
ive been working, THANK GOD, for about a week now. third shift, building engines. i stand in a line all night putting pistons in to mostly small block turbo diesel engines for biggo trucks. good stuff. a riot. me. building engines. im just so happy to be working. those i work with have seemed to warm to me and most nights are filled with questions, that whole getting-to-know-you thing. i like them. i like going to work. ill like it even more when they pay to go back to school. which is my plan.

anyway. im done for now. drunk and tired, my day off is almost over and...what the fuck ever. i shouldnt cuss that much.

books i read:
grant speaks (authors name i cant spell - fiction)
rant - palahniuk
the first man - camus
babylon by bus - (three authors i cant remember)
raise high the roofbeams, carpenters and seymour, and introduction - salinger

what im thouroughly enjoying musically:
commons new cd
wilcos sky blue blue sky
interpols new disc

last,
truman, ive decided, is growing way too fast. hes 17 months now. over 30 lbs. 3ft tall, i think. and getting stronger. he regularly beats the shit out of me and i constantly thank whomever for letting me experience the best thing thats ever happened to me. and we finally cut his har.

love.

oh my

wow. its been some time.
dont live in texas anymore.
i live in a bread basket.
my son is huge and amazingly strong.
everything else is, well, blah blah blah.